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3/20/01

A lot's happened between November and now. I've seen door after door opened for me which has allowed me to progress closer and closer to my goal of graduation from Bowie State University.

Let's begin with January. Bowie placed me LATE at a school for me to student teach. First off, it was a miracle that they let me in the program without the usual paperwork or formal interview. Praise God!

I registered for classes late at Bowie- just happening to find that one remaining Social Science elective class to be open on a Thursday evening - just when our choir rehearsals at church on Thursday start to thin out and we shift to Saturdays only!

Next, they placed me with a CHOIR director- something I thought was a mistake at first (but worked out for my best in the end). My advisor (after a convo with him) suggested I stay with the choir director (note: my major is INSTRUMENTAL music, not VOCAL, even though I can do the vocal thing and already do for my church....). Turns out the choir director is an ex-band director of 15 years.

See a pattern of providence developing yet? Keep reading.

The school I was placed at was a blessing indeed. Not only the teacher and his wealth of experience, but the bond I developed with his students in the various choirs. Shout out to Laurel High School and Mr. Clary! One of the coolest things I had happen was during my last few days. One of the students (a 9th grader) who is a believer wrote me a wonderful and encouraging note. Her parents have done a wonderful job raising her as a young woman of God. It's so rare to see that, but it was a blessing indeed.

All of these things, combined with my band director at Bowie being understanding about his Student Director being 'ghost' for most of this semester (although I did manage to get the band website done and open to the general public- finally!).

I'm in my 10th week of student teaching- now at a middle school band program. My cooperating teacher from my first 8 weeks has given me a sparkling review, both of my formal observations were almost perfect and I have a recommendation letter from my first cooperating teacher. If things continue as they have been, I'll do just as well here too.

The State of MD has changed their requirements for certification of new teachers- instead of taking just ONE exam for the Praxis II (specialty section) - $70 - we now have to take TWO sections. I realized this at the last minute THE NIGHT BEFORE the test. So in addition to taking the second test (another $70), I also had to pay an additional $60 standby fee for taking it on the spot that day. Trying to find a registration booklet, running to Towson St. Univ. and back to Johns Hopkins (the test center that day) just in time to take the test, not to mention that ETS didn't even send me a ticket for my FIRST test, so I had to GUESS what time I needed to be there initially..... God is good.

All the complaining I initially did about being placed with a choir director for my first eight weeks turned out to be for my good indeed. The test had a vocal analysis section, several questions related to vocal music and the time I spent with Mr. Clary at LHS helped prepare me.

See a pattern of providence yet?

Now, I'm just waiting on my test scores to come back. Even though I think I did well, pray they grade on a curve.

I picked website design back up (that's where I got the money for the Praxis II exam), so I've got another site to knock out in a few weeks. Yep- another site selling fraternity and sorority items. In addition, there's another possible client looming in the background. I'll see what develops there - I owe Bowie $295, so I'll see how much of it I can make dissapear in time for graduation.

I'm attempting to start giving piano lessons (on Saturdays), to bring in some extra income each month. I have two potential clients - let's pray I can make them 'actual' real soon.

I have a pending piece for JD's Urban Weblink site entitled Desiring God and Hating Sin- it's set to go up in the Menz Talk section (and I'll probably get to working on it as soon as I'm done with this update). It was inspired partly from thoughts and musings I've gleaned from scripture on the subject of sexuality, relationships and such. Once you read it, you'll see what the rest of it is about. I had to do a 'revised' version of it (the original had typos galore and it had personal references to particular people in it).

No, there's no potential Mrs. Gilliard yet- not that I can see anyway. I'm not too worried. I think one thing that the Lord has shown me over the past few months is that I need to stop placing all of my eggs in one basket. I've always had the notion in mind that I'd like to be already involved with someone (specifically engaged) prior to graduation from college because once you graduate, it gets more difficult to see folks' motivations for wanting to be around you. Sometimes we need to let go of those 'high schoolish' notions and realize that no matter what WE plan, the Lord still has our steps ordered according to His will, not ours.

I considered a courtship situation recently, but had fears that I wasn't adequately ready- both financially, mentally and spiritually. In the interests of wisdom, I ran my thoughts past a few friends who encouraged me to move ahead and heavily consider the question. After a discussion with a friend and a few counselors and the Spirit, I came to the conclusion that although the Lord did prod me to pursue the question, it was moreso for confirmation that I'm not ready for that level of relationship or committment yet. In one aspect, it was a minor blow to my ego, but nothing I didn't already know.

It's also effected a bit of a change in me. I'm starting to treat relationships like the second coming of Christ. It could happen at any time, don't know exactly when, but when the fullness of time is come, it will happen. In the meantime, work until the Lord returns. I'm setting up some more 'fun' spots in my life over the next few weeks- hopefully, I'll actually get to enjoy myself! I'm also setting up some 'boundaries' - changing the keys to a few doors to my heart and other areas of my life. Not everyone should have unlimitted access to a person's heart.

In Christ,
Kerry

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